Dentist

So I just want to rave about the best teeth cleaning I've had since my childhood dentist retired years ago. Dr. Gagik Pahlavyan gave me an amazing cleaning for 40 minutes, and my teeth feel brand new! I highly recommend him, at least for cleanings. It cost about $50 - though who knows what he'll cost next month if the dollar keeps dropping. If you want to pay him a visit, he's at Ultradent on Amiryan Street, across from Samsung. The office was brand new, had excellent equipment, and you even put your feet into a machine which pops plastic baggies on them to keep the place spotless... a bit excessive I think, but certainly a nice change.

As I sit in the chair...

Gagik: What problem do you have?
Me: No problem.
Gagik: Wow, nobody in this country visits the dentist until it reaches the bone (minchev voskor' hasni).

That's a figure of speech, but I guess not many people go in for a regular cleaning. And I guess that doesn't surprise me.

How to cheat an Armenian...

If you're an airline, this year's answer for November is to switch from quoting prices for plane tickets in dollars, to Euros. No big deal, right? So a $900 ticket on October 31 costs 612 Euros - and the price in dram of course is unchanged. WRONG! The $900 ticket of October 31 is now about 900 euros, and the price in dollars and dram just shot up a WHOPPING FORTY SEVEN PERCENT! (Yes, 47%).

Let me be the first to wish you a Shnorhavor Nor Dari yev Surp Dz'nunt on behalf of the airlines here. You need not wish them a happy new year in return, because already it's going to be the best they've ever had!

Georgia beatings

It's disappointing to see that the last vestiges of Georgia's democratic government credentials have now crumbled as well. In events that mirrored those in Yerevan 3 years ago quite closely, peaceful opposition demonstrators had the crap beat out of them for blocking traffic in front of the parliament building. I watched the footage on a few channels with CNN showing very minor stuff, BBC showing more, and EuroNews showing some very serious ass-whooping with batons and boots, clearly targeting perfectly peaceful people. The national ombudsman, observing the events was also given a good beating which he says only got worse when he told them who he was.

The differences are also interesting. Saakashvili declared a state of emergency first in the capital, then the whole country. And now he has announced early presidential elections (in 2 months). And though I am uneducated on this topic, I tend to feel that Georgia's opposition has more legitimacy and support than the opposition in Armenia. There is also talk of earlier Parliamentary elections, but anyway we'll see how things turn out there. Certainly the largely corrupt batch of opportunists here in Armenia which we call our opposition is watching these events closely, as their last major protest (which ended in the aforementioned beatings) were themselves inspired by the Rose Revolution in Georgia a year before that!

I read a totally unrelated article about a nicotine vaccine that's been developed. It stops the affects of nicotine on the brain. Quitting rates shot up from a pathetic 6% to a slightly less pathetic 16% - but those who didn't quit did manage to halve the number of cigarettes they smoke as well. If we could just manage to vaccinate every single smoker in Armenia, restaurants would be only 40% as smoky! :-)

Cartoon

Thanks to Vahan Bournazian for sending this one...

Insulting Turkishness

Two of the police Turkish officers photographed proudly with Hrant Dink's murderer, holding a Turkish flag are on trial. One for "abusing his office by allowing acts unbefitting state officials and leading to the impression that there was sympathy for Samast's action," and the other for "violating the secrecy of the investigation" by leaking the images to the media. They should both be charged with the same article 301 that Hrant Dink was convicted of, the publicity of which led to his murder. Article 301 of the Turkish Penal Code of course is the infamous law outlawing "insulting Turkishness". If these two sons of bitches posing proudly with a murderer and a Turkish flag aren't an insult to Turkishness, and those simply telling 92 year old truths are, then perhaps simply being Turkish is an insult.

Conversations with the waiter

I have a feeling there will be no end to the "conversations with the waiter", they are so often memorable here. This one is a submission from a repat that doesn't blog.

Sitting at Square One, one of us orders a hamburger, the other a chicken burger. When the waiter brings out two plates, it's obvious that they are identical.

Me (pointing to friend's plate): Excuse me, what is this?

Waiter: What did you order?

Me: Huh?

Waiter: What?

Me: I want to know what this is that you just brought out?

Waiter: Then tell me what you ordered.

Me (still pointing to friend's plate): Why do you need to know what I ordered before you tell me what this is?

Waiter: Well, how am I supposed to know what THAT is if you don't tell me WHAT you ordered?

Conversations with the doctor

So after a week of this strange, lingering sore throat, I ventured to the doctor to get it checked. After the inspection process, she told me in Armenian I had an infection and inflammation in my throat. I wanted to figure out if there was a more specific name for what I have.

Me: What is my condition called? Is it perhaps strep throat? (strep throat I said in English)

Dr: I don't know that term, do you speak French?

Me: No, but go ahead and try me.

Dr: But do you speak French?

Me: No, but I might understand.

Dr: You have a good sense of humor. (totally thinking I'm joking)

Me: No, really, say it in French!

Dr: You have an inflamacion.

Me: Ah yes, an inflammation.

I hope some other bloggers will occasionally post some funny conversations they have... sometimes the confusion or misunderstanding can be truly impressive :-)

Conversations over a pizza order

When the idea of going to the Club came up, I was a bit lukewarm, until I remembered their fantastic pizza, which is exactly what I was in the mood for.

Me: I'll have the vegetarian pizza.

Waitress: We don't have pizza today.

Me: Why not?

Waitress: It's Sunday, we don't have pizza on Sundays.

Me: Why? What happens on Sundays?

Waitress: The pizza chef has to have a day of rest too.

Me: But, can't anyone else make a pizza????

Waitress: No.

I settled for a pretty greasy Su Boreg which was too small and a very good Armenian Salad, but it just wasn't the same, nor was it all that satisfying.

Letter to the Anti-Defamation League

This is my letter to the ADL, which I submitted at the URL below. It is not meant for copy/pasting, simply sharing what I wrote. If you'd like to write to them too, use this address (and keep it to 1,000 characters or less). http://www.adl.org/contact_us.asp

I have been following the controversy over the Armenian Genocide within your organization, and I read the ad you are about to publish. Shame on you! At every step along the way you have chosen the wrong course, and continue to insist upon it. There are some things which are morally wrong, and for you, as Jews, to minimize the crime that the Armenians suffered, well as fellow genocide victims it's disgusting.

If anybody neglected to call your Shoah a Holocaust, and simply called it a tragedy, or events, as a matter of policy, you would be up in arms, and rightfully so. Your hypocritical stance on this issue has long been noted by the Armenian community, and it is fantastic that now, widespread coverage is showing many others that your organization MUST change its position on this matter, or accept that it has no role in any type of moral leadership.

No Place For Hate indeed. Genocide denial is hateful, believe it or not, even if we're not talking about Jews.

Amot tsezi,
Raffi

Conversations (toast to the priest)

I've been wanting for a while to regularly blog funny exchanges I hear here. Finally I'm starting, and hopefully it will be regular.

Sunday evening, while attending the post baptismal reception, the Tamada had the following exchange with the American-Armenian priest while toasting him, as the priest sat next to his own wife:

Tamada: (to the priest)... To you and your wife (pause)

Tamada: You are married right?

DK: Ayo

Tamada: (pause) Is that allowed?

DK: Ayo

Tamada: (longer pause) Is that her next to you?

DK: Ayo

Tamada: Then to you and your wife...

Bring books and magazines...

For those of you visiting Armenia this year, with some extra space in your luggage, or thinking of what would make good gifts for people in Armenia - bring something that will help them learn English! Grab your old books, go to the Salvation Army or other thrift stores and buy good books for a dollar or less, save good magazines for people just learning (National Geographic, Readers Digest, etc), get books for younger readers (Hardy Boys, Disney, whatever), and give them out in Armenia. Give them to children, the young, give them to taxi drivers or waiters trying out a few words of English on you, give it to a school for their library, hell, just leave it out on a street somewhere. There really is precious little access to this type of material in Armenia and I think having more of these materials around will help both satisfy a need that is there, and create more interest and demand. There is no good place to go for cheap English books and magazines.

If you feel up for it, go to bookcrossing.com and print out some tags to attach to the books which tell people who pick them up to read them, then leave them out again somewhere for another person to read. The theory is that each person who picks it up will log in an share where they found it, what they thought of it, and where they released it. If that's too much trouble, write "FREE BOOK - PASS ALONG" or something like that all over the outside to encourage people both to take it (if you're just leaving it in say, Ijevan town square), and to give it to someone when they're done. If you're leaving it somewhere where expats hang out, you might include a note asking people to not take the book out of Armenia...

Anyway, just a thought. I'm shipping a few hundred books, most of them slated for "release" into the wild...