Part Two - What is going on with us?

Here is where my little story goes on…

One night over drinks someone in our group somewhat casually interjected that "she hated being Armenian". Whoa. The comment stunned me but I was also equally surprised by my non- judgment of this girl. In fact, there was also a palpable sense of understanding among all Armenians in the group – I got a feeling that many of them had toyed with same kind of disappointment. In any case, I appreciated this girl’s honesty in expressing these feelings, I had personally just never heard it expressed with such a powerful word as “hate” from someone I know had been so dedicated to putting Armenians first. The comment clearly had accumulated angst and resentment associated with it that I figured I’d probe about when it didn't feel as threatening. However, it did serve to confirm my feeling that the laundry list of interpersonal issues within our community that aren't being addressed are permeating in unpleasing ways.

She graduated at the top of her class from one of the highest ranked law schools in the nation and started out her career working on cases that represented the underprivileged with special care toward Armenians. She has since moved on. We can't afford to have anyone, much less smart minds who are passionate about working with Armenians, turn their backs on us like this!

I am not familiar with all organizations but I have knowledge of my fair share and though there are a few that are admirable, I have seen many more that were damn pitiful – bright, energetic professionals who start out their careers with a passion for working toward the mission of our organizations are being met with truly unfair compensation and incredibly hostile environments with insurmountable expectations and no validation or reward. Many of them not only leave the organizations because they are highly marketable, but they are leaving and don't even want to look back. And, I won't say it but who do you think they are leaving behind? If you employ an Armenian it doesn't meant that, that person needs to donate their livelihood to you and take your shit. Who wants to use Hrya’s as an example but living in LA you work with them and every one of them know that the people who work with their organizations as journalists, teachers, fund raisers, and executives are among the most valuable to their community and damned are they if they mistreat these people. Yet, we don't think twice about what sort of affect these actions are going to have.

Now I come to a few comments I have read on the Repat blog recently. There were some comments made under New Anthem that were basically saying that Armenians in the Diaspora shouldn’t have a say in the things that takes place in Armenia, in this case with expressing feelings about Mer Hayrenik. One comment went so far as to say we don’t do much more for Armenia than donate $20 once a year during the telethon. I felt these comments did little more than create a Armenia vs. Diaspora divide. I am not saying that I or anyone outside of Armenia can even profess to know about what will serve the daily lives of the people in our homeland without living there for a significant period of time. But all those comments serve to do is instill another path which alienates us from each other and ultimately threatens to diminish the strength of who we are as Armenians. To tell me that I should have no say in our national anthem because I don’t live in Armenia and that I as the reader do nothing more for Armenia than donate $20 offends me. I personally have done much more and know lots of people who always bend over backwards to do what they can, but what if that is all we can do? Does that make us less worthy? We aren’t an X-Men cult with super powerful abilities that can affect great change single handedly. If all someone can do is donate a few bucks to the Telethon it should never be frowned upon or express a desire to restrict their connection to Armenia. And there is no need to degrade any effort, especially when there are Armenians throughout the US and even in the greater Los Angeles area who are really struggling.

I know the image everyone has of us is that we throw lavish parties and cruise around in our ridiculously expensive cars without a care in the world. Although this isn’t untrue, it is drowning out the voices of Armenians who are struggling and aren't clustered in the Glendale vicinity. Elders with no support or English skills are having a hard time navigating the social services systems to get the care they need, kids are being influenced by gangs and drugs with parent(s) who can hardly make ends meet as part of the white working poor of America. And are we so naïve as to think our households are immune from the perils of domestic violence? Yet which Armenia organization targets to aide them? In the US we are also grouped under the auspices of being “white” so don’t have a voice of our own to get the needed support.

Then more recently under the log about smooching in Armenia, the conversation evolved into comments that Harmick made that I found to be so poignant.

Here is my spiel (finally huh? lol): I think that the current generation of college students and newish graduates are leading the way for a new mentality of our American Armenians who are not nearly as forgiving as some of their predecessors for unethical behavior within their community. We can’t expect to raise them with idealistic views on how wonderful it is to be Armenian and how important it is that we don’t loose our language and culture yet screw them over in business, take advantage of the few who want to work in our organizations, and be tactless the way we treat one another. If they are working to live up to the high expectations and paying the social costs to not assimilate into white America they are expecting the same integrity in return. How often do we hear of people being taken advantage of for petty amounts of gain...yet the psychological damage is long standing and the message gets passed through to all of us.

Harmick perfectly exemplifies this in his comment when he expresses tolerance by saying “I understand Armenians often have a lack of tact, and usually have good intentions, but…”. This atomically puts him into my generation of thought. However, perhaps his younger sibling but certainly the emerging generations are not nearly as open to accepting this. Part of the problem is that they aren't going to go to war over it with the us either with their demands, instead they just quietly turn their back on who they are.

Ultimately we are building as many superficial divides as humanely possible that are doing nothing more than alienating us from each other and willfully giving up our power. Most of it is just human nature but we do have a say in how we are shaping our Diaspora for the future generations as individuals. Subconsciously we don't think twice about it because we think we will always have the unwavering support of our people. No matter what dialect we speak, the spices we use to make our food, or how our country of origin has influenced our lifestyle, the differences should be celebrated and indulged in rather than constantly using them against each other. It’s one thing for a half Armenian to have parents that prioritized teaching them to speak and be Armenian, or didn't for their own reasons. However how many times can that person overlook the way they get treated in our community? Especially, as Harmick also said, "it's the place you should be accepted". I don't think we can afford to even loose one person to negative experiences in any of our communities yet so many are quietly walking away and looking for the refuge they need elsewhere.

That's my piece. I'll get back to you in the next 50 years to let you konw how things are going:) Nancy Pelosi Speak of the House! Yay!!