An Open Letter to Our Very Dear Raffi M.
I just finished reading a very interesting post by Raffi Meneshian entitled “The Trip Ahead”. In it, Raffi has taken the liberty to question, maybe even challenge the Armenian Diaspora, and their “hypocrisy”…
Dear Raffi,
I come to you today as an Armenian, living in the Diaspora (Toronto, Canada to be exact). I am a “kebab-eating” young fellow, who is “very passionate about [his] Armenian identity…”. Yes, I do “go to church”, “attend political party meetings” and ultimately "do the right thing because it is [my] sense of duty for Armenia"…Yet I get blamed because of all this?...I mean, coming from a community (a very young community, by the way) which has developed itself in Toronto by founding many churches, schools and community centers, I have always had one mindset, and one mindset only…All of this (the schools, the churches, the community centers) is just a way to preserve our culture, on these “odar”, non-native lands. Ever since I was about 6, I have had one thing in mind, and that has been to one day return to my homeland for good...Come on...It's not like we chose to live outside of our homelands. We were forced out of our historic lands, and if it wasnt for that, I definitely wouldn't be calling Canada home today. I mean, I don’t exactly know how your community functions, but here in Toronto, we do all of this as a means to keep our “Armenian-ness” alive in our youth, to always protect the rights of Armenians, and stay true to the “Armenian Cause”. And to get blamed for all of this just seems to be a bit obscure…We, in Toronto, have done everything possible to ensure that the future of Armenians is in good hands. I mean, without keeping the Armenian youth intact with their cultural heritage in the Diaspora, how do you ever expect them to return to their historic lands? We go through hell trying to promote our cultural values, and yet you call this a “comfort zone”? Let me tell you one thing Raffi, this is DEFINITELY is not a comfort zone. It is not exactly an easy job to do all of this… Sorry, I might be “Genocide recognition minded” and maybe even a bit “gullible”, but by attending Armenian school and taking part in various Armenian organizations, I am still doing my small part to keep the Armenian culture alive here in Canada…And by the way, I have “stepped-foot” in Yerevan, on a few occasions…And I agree with you, that merely visiting, having a good time, and showing friends and family photographs of the trip, isn’t exactly helping the cause in Armenia; however, this doesn’t give you, or anyone else the right to bash Armenians of the Diaspora. We are all doing our part today, so we can one day express our culture freely on our own lands…
Wait a minute, why am I even wasting my time…I mean, I’m here trying to convince a guy who has already taken the first step in losing his Armenian heritage by marrying a non-Armenian…Think of it this way…Your children will only be “half-Armenian”…right?!? And if they end up marrying a “non-Armenian” like their father did, their kids will only be considered “quarter-Armenians”, and so on…Wow, I really love your approach in preserving the Armenian culture…Quite interesting!
Sincerely Yours,
Rupen Janbazian
Dear Raffi,
I come to you today as an Armenian, living in the Diaspora (Toronto, Canada to be exact). I am a “kebab-eating” young fellow, who is “very passionate about [his] Armenian identity…”. Yes, I do “go to church”, “attend political party meetings” and ultimately "do the right thing because it is [my] sense of duty for Armenia"…Yet I get blamed because of all this?...I mean, coming from a community (a very young community, by the way) which has developed itself in Toronto by founding many churches, schools and community centers, I have always had one mindset, and one mindset only…All of this (the schools, the churches, the community centers) is just a way to preserve our culture, on these “odar”, non-native lands. Ever since I was about 6, I have had one thing in mind, and that has been to one day return to my homeland for good...Come on...It's not like we chose to live outside of our homelands. We were forced out of our historic lands, and if it wasnt for that, I definitely wouldn't be calling Canada home today. I mean, I don’t exactly know how your community functions, but here in Toronto, we do all of this as a means to keep our “Armenian-ness” alive in our youth, to always protect the rights of Armenians, and stay true to the “Armenian Cause”. And to get blamed for all of this just seems to be a bit obscure…We, in Toronto, have done everything possible to ensure that the future of Armenians is in good hands. I mean, without keeping the Armenian youth intact with their cultural heritage in the Diaspora, how do you ever expect them to return to their historic lands? We go through hell trying to promote our cultural values, and yet you call this a “comfort zone”? Let me tell you one thing Raffi, this is DEFINITELY is not a comfort zone. It is not exactly an easy job to do all of this… Sorry, I might be “Genocide recognition minded” and maybe even a bit “gullible”, but by attending Armenian school and taking part in various Armenian organizations, I am still doing my small part to keep the Armenian culture alive here in Canada…And by the way, I have “stepped-foot” in Yerevan, on a few occasions…And I agree with you, that merely visiting, having a good time, and showing friends and family photographs of the trip, isn’t exactly helping the cause in Armenia; however, this doesn’t give you, or anyone else the right to bash Armenians of the Diaspora. We are all doing our part today, so we can one day express our culture freely on our own lands…
Wait a minute, why am I even wasting my time…I mean, I’m here trying to convince a guy who has already taken the first step in losing his Armenian heritage by marrying a non-Armenian…Think of it this way…Your children will only be “half-Armenian”…right?!? And if they end up marrying a “non-Armenian” like their father did, their kids will only be considered “quarter-Armenians”, and so on…Wow, I really love your approach in preserving the Armenian culture…Quite interesting!
Sincerely Yours,
Rupen Janbazian
posted by Rupen at 2:32 AM
11 Comments:
May I interject really quickly and ask everybody PLEASE not to go personal? I truly believe it is really INAPPROPRIATE to discuss anybody's personal life preferences, wife, kids, etc. on this public forum.
PLEASE let us not go this absolutely fruitless path that will leave ONLY the taste of bitterness and personal insult in everybody's mouth...
Anybody listening? PLEASE!!! If we cannot stick to IMpersonal issues and civilized debate (be it Armenia-Diaspora relations or anything else, however SOCIALLY SENSITIVE! - and I am all for an honest discussion of the most controversial SOCIAL, NOT PERSONAL, subjects!) we are not worth these computers we are typing our thoughts on...
Regards,
Artashes Boyajian
You both raise valid points.
I think many people don't realize that the diaspora is even more in survival mode than Armenia itself.
A barahantes is perhaps not the best way to help Armenia, but hell, we need to celebrate our Armenian identity from time to time too.
Rupen, Well said.
First of all I’m sorry to break it to you Raffi but you shouldn’t be so interested in how they will react to your wife. You should wonder how they will react to you, marrying an odar. How they react to her will be a direct reflection of how they feel about why a strong Armenian man involved in his community couldn’t find an Armenian wife. Otherwise she is just a woman who is not Armenian visiting Armenia. The FIRST most important aspect of carrying on our heritage is keeping our blood 100%. How many of us young Diasporan Armenians have let go of wonderful people we’ve met because they aren’t Armenian and we feel blind obligation to our heritage. How many of us even AVOID the complication by not even being open to meeting an odar. Yet, you gave up and have the nerve to say this to US!
We do everything we know how to do as Armenians in the Diaspora. I didn’t choose to be in the United States and feel the oppression of my ancestors in my bones. I’m in the US because of the genocide. My family is in Syria. I have additional family scattered all over the world. My aunts children live in an area where there are no Armenians and the children stopped speaking because their friends made fun of their father’s “freaky language” and have since forgotten. With those three boys, being Armenian will just be a term. All because of the genocide I can’t enjoy my family directly and have a torn and tattered blood lines. The pain and suffering of my history is palpable in my soul when someone who has no idea what it takes to live with a history like ours has the nerve to discuss with me the validity of the Genocide like it’s a topic of discussion in between the weather and the latest great restaurant we dined at. We live with this reality daily and there is no escaping the thoughts and feelings. Yet, it's not good enough?
All of us Diasporans, particularly the people who travel to our beloved homeland and are involved in our Diasporan community have nothing but blinded passion to do whatever that needs to be done for our community. We aren’t all leading these organization, we aren’t rallying the community to follow through on a plan or even strategize one. That is in the hands of the experts at the ANCA and other such organizations. The rest of us come out with all that we have to offer to do everything we are asked. Yet, if we go back home we’re not good enough? Like Rupen said it is as hard as hell to be a Diasporan Armenian, particularly if we’re involved. Being Armenian requires SO much from us yet what does it give back? What does it promise us? What do we really get out of it? We don’t walk away with security, money, prestige, a shoulder to lean on. Yet, we give of ourselves without asking of anything because of our whole hearted obligation to our history and future.
I have been highly involved in the Armenian community. As an Armenian woman no matter what step I take in career thinking of how I can benefit our community, as a constituent in different parts of the United States I vote first for what will benefit Armenians, as a student in grueling private Armenian schooling, and as a volunteer devoting SO much of my free time to whatever is being asked of me. And I’m an average example. Yet I have NEVER been to Armenia. Does this make me less? People I know haven’t been for their own reasons. Does that make them any less? One day we will, and we will come home with pictures. Is that so wrong?
Get over yourself. Like, what makes you SO ideal anyway to even have the nerve to put a post like this up and not even notice how weak your point is? If you are proposing something shouldn’t you be the living example? I mean, we all highly educated and informed people and know that results require a plan and follow through. Tell us something we don’t know.
I have accepted the comments made so far - but want to say before I speak my own mind that I will NOT allow things to get out of hand here. We are discussing some very emotional, hard topics, and we need to keep things at a level where we are sharing our thoughts, feelings, etc, without insulting, etc. Saying "Get over yourself." is just not contributing anything to the discussion, let's not vent, let's taaaalk! :-) Please? Pretty please? OK, so I hope things continue in a positive direction.
Personally, I have a lot of thoughts on these subjects. It is VERY hard to be a Diasporan, and many people are very judgemental about your life choices. If someone doesn't speak, Armenian, doesn't marry Armenian, etc. Judging and shunning people will never help the cause. If someone doesn't speak Armenian, it is usually not their fault, but that of their parents (or grandparents). Reversing it is VERY hard, and it should be made easy, fun, cool... it should be encouraged. But if it is just used to exclude someone, you have just lost an Armenian. Marrying an odar. This could conceivably be better for the culture, if the odar learns Armenian, embraces Armenianess, the kids grow up Armenian, etc. If you are ZERO percent Armenian you can still be a better and more valuable Armenian than a full blooded Armo. Let's stop counting the genes, and start looking at the choiced made surrounding the marriage. Will the kids feel Armenian? If they feel it, and you are inclusive, you've gained, not lost.
Now for the you should go to Armenia and help Armenia. This is a really tough one, because just supporting Diaspora institutions is a huge job to begin with. Hopefully we - as a nation - can develop ways to combine these needs, tie them together, and solve them together. Large summer programs in Armenia for young Armenians is a great way to help them meet and marry like-minded Armenians, and help Armenia for a summer or two as well, as an example. This topic could go into massive detail, but I think it is time to think unconventionally, study what Jews have been doing, and chart our own course into the future as globalization takes a toll on smaller communities around the globe. We have to decide what we want to preserve, what can be preserved, and take it from there... I have some ideas and this exchange is tempting me to share them...
Guys, definitely insults and put downs are not going to get us anywhere. The minute you use an insult you lose the debate. Keep that in mind.
Raffi was merely speaking to people who see a problem, complain about the problem, yet do nothing to solve the problem. We can all do more but we will all do more in our own time. We can also assist each other in teaching each other better ways of helping out if we've had the benefit of experience in what works and what doesnt. When you see a problem or an issue, you should explain the problem, explain how you think the problem needs to be solved, and then help provide some solutions to make it happen. Armenians all around the world definitely have to find a way to work better together. From the priests, to the leaders of Armenia, to Hayastanstis to the Diaspora. We're all disjointed and involved in our own little groups and we tend not to work well together as a whole. Saroyan's quote was,"I should like to see any power in this world destroy this race, this small tribe of unimportant people whose history is ended, whose wars have been fought and lost, whose structures have crumbled, whose literature is unread, whose music is unheard, and whose prayers are no more answered. Go ahead, destroy this race! Destroy Armenia! See if you can do it. Send them from their homes into the desert. Let them have neither bread nor water. Burn their homes and churches. Then, see if they will not laugh again, see if they will not sing and pray again. For when two of them meet anywhere in the world, see if they will not create a New Armenia." on the other hand others have said, put a few armenians together and watch a fight ensue. We have to work together to not only build a strong armenia wherever we are but to also bridge the gap between all of us and our homeland. Some of us are doing this and some of us are not. If we see that happening and it bothers us we should try to find ways to help each other change that. It's not bad to have our own little groups (genocide forced us to do that in many cases) but now these groups need to work together in unison.
Ok now i have a barahantess to plan, some shish kebab I have to cook and eat and some pictures of Armenia to show whoever comes by, so i have to go ;)
Baykar Dervishian
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If I may, it seems like Raffi's criticism was not that the diaspora's hypocrisy for living in the diaspora, rather complaining about everything without contributing to change how things are done (correct me if I'm wrong). For example, someone would rather complain about how everyone in Armenia bribes visitors, but wont do anything to influence change. Or one may say that our approach to genocide recognition is terrible, but never have raised their voice about it otherwise.
I really like a lot of what Annie said, but I think we are at risk of becoming a bit isolated as a culture in our need to stay a pure nationality. Cutting ourselves off from the rest of the world may just mean that... we keep to ourselves, they do the same. As Armenians, we love to hold ourselves to the highest standard, and then break ourselves down when we don't meet them. The great thing about being Armenian is that so many of us share the joy of our culture and as we are spread out all over the world, we get to meet people just like us ALL over the world. Armenia just happens to be the "mecca" for everyone right now (despite some flaws). I'll remind you that Armenia's current borders were not drawn by Armenians, and therefore must not be seen and the limits to our efforts.
But we need to remember that being Armenian is not a cause. The diaspora has taken the responsibility of genocide recognition because they fell into the center of the issue. Washington is where the focus exists right now, and I don't see it as a responsibility because we are Armenian, rather because we are human and at the front line, able to fight. When I worked at the ANCA, I looked at what was happening in Darfur and saw that as my reason for fighting as much as justice for the genocide.
As for what these people think of the diaspora, people's actions and causes or lack there of, it is the individual who must define themselves rather than let a group of "diasporan bashers" to call them names and take offense. I've been praised and criticised for the same action many times before. No one cause is the right one unless it's the one you believe in, even if it's simply eating kebab (which should not be so easily dismissed).
However, if I may return to the original point, do what you want. But unless you are acting to make a difference, keep your criticisms of the activists to yourself. However, if you want to act and think there's very little you can do, the smallest act can have more power than the average diasporan, Hayastansi, Repat and Expat may realize.
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Rupen, I take exception to your opinions, but will refrain from categorizing them as I believe they should be. Suffice it to say that when I was in college, a very dear mentor once told me that it takes more courage to admit that one's thesis may not be entirely true, than to unequivocally state that it is. In this case I would offer the following thought, that perhaps as someone in his early 20's, you may not have a full grasp of the subtle and not so subtle complexities that life, ethnic identity, professional demands, and matters of the heart have in them. I believe what Raffi is refering to as the comfort zone is not in the form of an outright criticism, but an empathetic comiseration in the plight of a dispersed nation, as a member of that nation. So, before falling victim to that which you are so unconstructively criticizing, you may want to search for empthy, and if you can't find it yet, give it a few more years, you'll see how useful it can be, in allowing you not to look at the world one-dimensionally.
Annie - are you saying that if you do not have 100% Armenian blood in you, you can not feel armenian?
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