Last night we ran into my good friends A. & T. and their three kids. My boyfriend and I were in town, having a drink with a couple of friends. I called A., because it was his birthday. Usually they celebrate all the birthdays at home with friends and family, but when I called the whole family turned out to be near the Opera, where there was some concert going on. As we were nearby, we went over to the Opera to meet them. It was so nice to see them again. They live way out in the 9th Massiv and only have a cellphone, so due to Armentel's great service over the last month or so, I hadn't been able to get through to them whenever I tried. I wanted to congratulate their daughter on her 11th birthday in July, but couldn't. I wanted to call them to hear about their oldest son returning from the army - he served in Kharabagh, so I hadn't seen him in several years. But again, I couldn't get through..... It turned out they hadn't been able to call me either, because they lost my phone number.

The reason they were not at home celebrating A.'s birthday, is because it was his fortieth and apparently there is an Armenian tradition that a man doesn't celebrate his 40th (a woman can, though). I had never heard of this tradition before. If any of you readers out there knows more about this tradition, please enlighten me, as I am curious to know more (yes, I am turning to you once more ;-) I asked my friends, but they didn't really know anything more about this tradition). Is there any link between this and the forty day mourning period after someone died? I mean, is forty in general considered a bad or unlucky number?

I met this family four years ago through a mutual acquaintance who has since disappeared both from their lives and from my life, but we have stayed good friends. At one time I lived with them for several weeks. Even though we don't get to see each other as much as I would like, we are good friends. They are a family that I feel really at home with, they are so warm and generous. A. works as a remontchik (renovating apartments and houses), T. is a fulltime mother by choice - she chose to stay home and raise the children and not work, though A. would have been fine with his wife working out of the house. They have been married for about 21 years (T. was only 16 when they married), but they still love and respect each other very much. Their youngest daughter has just turned 11, their oldest son has just returned from the army and their middle son graduated from school last year and is now working to try to save money to pay for his studies at the conservatory (he is a talented clarinet player, who used to play in the Yerevan Youth Orchestra).

I have a lot of respect for T. and A. and the way they raise their kids. They take parenting seriously and make an effort to install certain values in their children. This may seem the obvious thing to do when you are a parent, but in reality it isn't. T. and A. not only teach their children the importance of family ties but also respect for honest, hard work and the value of money, that money is something you have to work for and does not come flying your way. When A. has work and there is money, they make sure to put part of it aside for times when A. is out of work, they don't spend everything at once, another thing they teach their kids - the value of saving money. This family is one of the very few families I know in Armenia that makes a point of having dinner together every night. They wait for A. to come home from work before they have dinner, which is usually around nine or ten in the evening. They do this out of respect for A., because he is the provider of the family, because of his work they have food on the table. All of this may seem old-fashioned, but it is in a way refreshing to see this attitude in a country where status is measured by things and spending money (the nicest car, the latest model cell phone, etc.) and where it is sometimes easier and more tempting to make a living through illegal (or semi-legal) activities than through honest work. Over the years I have seen this family slowly, step by step improve their situation, though they are in many ways still getting by. Due to rising costs of living, most of their money still goes to necessary things, food, clothing for their children. The one thing they are unable to do, is set aside enough money to be able to buy an apartment. This has been their one big wish for a long time. For many years now, they have been living in the apartment of one of their relatives who is living in Moscow. Before that the five of them plus T.'s mother used to live in a one-room apartment. So they have never had their own place. I hope this family will be able to realize this dream some day. They deserve that.