it's very sad when one loses one's hope. i have lost my hope in this government, and i am just plain exhausted.

i have been awake since 2 am contemplating how, when and why this country turned into a dictatorship. i went to go buy some fresh juice, to get some energy back this morning and i saw blood on the newly renovated sidewalks on my way to the store.

i keep searching for news... and all i have found are a few internet articles. i keep searching for answers... but there are not too many of those either... and they are not as easily found as articles on the internet.

i am taking this personally, i am upset about this and i am extremely sad for my country. i wish i could believe the measly report that the news stations have been reiterating this morning... but the witnesses are too many and they are too startled. people who saw, heard or were a part of last night... showed me a side of terror that i had never encountered in my life.

i am very sad today and i cannot shake it off. i think it will be a while before anyone living in this country can.