Well instead of commenting, I thought I'd write it in a log. Arsineh, you are so right about this place being totally twisted. The reality of an upcoming war is really beginning to sink in. My friend's husband is already out in Pakistan and my other friend's fiance is in some desert. I wanted to comment on how far removed I personally feel from the whole "war experience". I just know that there's something going on somewhere in the world, and although I hear about it in the news and like you, Arsineh, I see protests left and right....but REALLY, how much does it affect my life? I fall into the "typical amerigatsi" category. I was born and raised here, and when 9-11 happened, I was honestly sooooooo confused as to why there were people who hated Americans and would do that. One of the many ignorant Americans. But more and more I learned how real things are, and how the things we hear on the news (dramatized for better rating purposes), ACTUALLY happen and ACTUALLY affect other people's lives.

I was thinking about all this too... and I was also thinking about why I hadn't thought about it before or as often. I realized that our lives here are somewhat programmed to be that way. You are supposed to wake up, go to work, work some more, come home, eat, and then go to work again the next day because you have to pay for you big house and big car...etc. And being Armenian doesn't really take away from that bland American lifestyle, it adds a nice twist. If you're Armenian, you're probably also doing some community activities, donating money to fundraisers--thus working harder to make more money to pay for being Armenian. See, when does an average American have time to sit down and think about what's happening in the rest of the world and if it's right or wrong. No, we're just supposed to make more money. And the people making more money look at those protestors who cause traffic, etc... as people who just don't get it, and as inconveniences in our quest to make money, therefore subconsciously you already dislike the protestors cause they're in your way.

This is all a reality.... another reason why I support Arsineh's idea.

TEBI YERGIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As far as hayasdan elections.... I don't think I'd choose any of the candidates, unless they personally promise me they're not gonna buy themselves mansions and benzes and drive by the dadik on the corner selling seeds for her daily bread. (And I doubt any of 'em could make me that promise and keep it). So I ask you.... honestly.... does it reallyyyyyy matter who wins? They all seem the same to me! Just different parts of the same tree.... (we gotta wait a while for those new trees with new fruit).

tsuh :)~

So much going on.

I just received word that one of my friend's reserve unit has been deployed. Reality on the possibility of war is sinking in. It's becoming closer to home now as well. Last month some family friends were sent to Afghanistan for at least a year. This is something my generation has not fully experienced yet. Sure, I remember watching the news on the Gulf war, but none of my friends were sent over. Friends and Family in New York are preparing for the worst, during this whole mess of defense preparations. Okay, so apparently we are suppose to BUY duct tape and plastic sheeting, but we're not to use it just yet. Got anything better than that?

Anti-war protests have been stopping traffic as well... literally. I was on the MassPike last week and there was serious traffic at an unexpected time of the day. Then I noticed protesters collected on an overpass up ahead... moments after driving under then, traffic picked up. They say these protests around the world are the biggest we've ever seen, including the 60s protests. I'm not a huge believer in the end result of protests, but it'll be interesting to see if they actually do affect these current events.

Meanwhile, the anti-French sentiment seems to be growing. Apparently people are boycotting "French Fries" because they have the name "French" in it. Chirac is certainly not a respected leader around here these days. Germans are simply mocked in media.

Meanwhile, this week, there have been two nightclub incidents that resulted in many deaths. Nothing to say about that other than now they are playing the blame game and it just sucks that people died.

And who can deny that the presidential elections in Armenia are anywhere near normal. I agree with Raffi, it's hard to say who is better for the job when we aren't there, an honest truth I only determined by spending enough time in Armenia to realize that reality. But it is somewhat inspiring to see people taking to the streets to be heard. If that's what it takes to set things straight in Armenia and inspire ownership and civil rights among the average citizen, let it be. That is something that has been lacking. Diasporans can have anything and everything to say about what needs to happen, but one feeling I acquired while there was that the people need to gain back their ability to voice their opinions and take control again. I hope these rallies are signs of this. But again, I'm not there.

But who can forget the Michael Jackson controversy? During all these international issues, the biggest news item still seems to be Michael Jackson's nose and sleeping habits.

What a weird time we live in. I'm not saying bad, I'm not saying good. Just plain weird. What a good time this would be for Armenians to gather and relocate back to Armenia. I don't believe escaping from America is the answer to the problems it faces, but it's not a bad time to consider. If this was our plan all along, what are we waiting for? I'm in! Let's just wait to see who our president will be...

It's been interesting to read all of the election stuff going on in Armenia. Since it's tough for me to pick a candidate without actually living in Armenia, I'll leave my "vote" and sentiments as incomplete. I've been reading about Turkey's typical extortive practices with the U.S. regarding the use of military bases in Turkey. Being for or against a war in Iraq is not really my place to comment, but, one thing is obvious- the U.S. wants the oil.

A very close friend of mine is staying with me for a couple of weeks to help "upgrade" the Pomegranate Music record label that I am involved with. He graduated with an MBA from Kellogg Business School (Northwestern U.) and has been out of work for a while. Instead of sitting around looking for jobs on Phoenix, AZ, he offered to work with me for a year and provide his expertese in marketing and strategy with the hopes of having Pomegranate bust through some more barriers and markets. Selling Armenian music to the general public is not easy, but, it can be done under the guise of a mainstream "world music" label. We hope to start offering more music to Armenians and non-Armenians alike. Please let me know what type of Armenian music you would like to hear in the future. If I get enough requests for a type or style or music, we'll look into producing something along those lines...

Ahhh… New York!
Beautiful, busy and BIG city… now it is actually slush city. I am here watching and breathing the USA air (that’s for you Zabel). I am sure many of you heard that there was a big storm that hit the East Coast of the US. By the way, this year we got close to NO snow in Montreal… bummer!
Anyhow, You can see how New Yorkers aren’t experienced when it comes to winter attire. Here is a an advice… just because the weather warmed up to 5 C the next day, it is no reason for you to go walking in shorts and T-shirt… this is how you get sick!
As I said, I am now here in NY. I will try and meet up with Raffi and Zabel and a few other LCO friends here. I will be speaking at an info session tonight at Columbia U. I’ll let you know how it went. I am actually helping to get more Diasporan Armenians to visit Armenia with the Organization. I am sure many of you know about this group. If you think that your friends or family members might be interested … or even you, please contact me or visit the site at www.landandculture.org

My flight was good. It was on a propeller plane, or at least that’s how it felt. But the plane did have 2 propellers and could seat only 37 people… one of the smallest planes I’ve been in.

I’ve been meaning to write about this for a while. I don’t know how it is in your city, but in Montreal, the businesses and banking system got us used to the debit card by removing cash and or credit card options (mind you they have brought them back). I pactically don’t carry cash on me anymore. BUT this is a problem now. Because of bank charges, companies and small businesses have started not to accept debit cards. However, they are kindly offering us to use a small debit machine that they have placed in their establishment. THIS machine charges you anywhere from a dollar to $3, depending on where you are dining, shopping etc. This is besides the bank charges you get (continuously increasing) when you use your card for payment or any other transactions. So, who is really losing out here? The average consumer. In order for me not to lose, I must once again change my habits and start carrying cash… just like one does in Armenia. I wonder if that isn’t the best way to go anyway.

In Montreal, Harout Pamboukjian played at the ARF valentines dance… more than 1000 people attended… wow! It’s amazing how much us diasporans love “barahantess”

In another log, I’ll tell you the story of my being denied entry to the USA because I had too much stuff in the car. ???whatever???

No, I have NOT fallen off the face of the planet... :) I'm here. The past couple of months have been really busy for me. First of all, I took a long nice break from almost everything during the holidays, and after that I've just taken on so much I hardly have time to do much. Right now I'm working as a fieldworker for the Juniors, and it's a lot of work. I'm also tutoring 2 fifth graders and between that, my 2 classes and work it's really hectic. I don't quite remember what I had written a while back, but as of now, I'm just "cruising" until my next radiation therapy. I don't know how things are going to be after next month, since I'll stop taking my replacement meds to prepare for the radiation. All this of course means that I most probably won't get to go to Hayasdan until the end of summer...which is a real bummer.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about my future and where it is i'm really going and what i'll be doing. Let me tell you something... a lot of things I thought I had figured out, now I'm clueless about. For example, I know I love Hayasdan and I'd like to live there, but now I'm beginning to really think twice about it. My health and family and friends have caused me to rethink that whole huge step. Before, honestly it didn't matter to me that I'd be thousands of miles away from my family and friends, but now that I have gone through this experience I feel so much closer to them and I just think I'd like to spend whatever is left with them (not that i'm dying or anything... but u know what i mean). So that's kinda where I am in my thinking nowadays.... in complete and utter confusion. Do I want to continue and get a BA in something else? Do I want to teach? Do I want to study something else? .... But I'm sure i'll get back on track... it's just gonna take some time. Bare with me....

TSUH! :)~

I don't remember hosting the Genie Awards. I must have been asleep... :) just kidding. That is amazing Raffi, and I wish I could see it. I hardly think the Academy Awards will offer such an eventful show. Though it would be cool to say a fellow Arsinee won an Oscar. The next time people look at me like I have the weirdest name in the world... I could just throw that at them. :) FYI, just saw Apo in DC and he's good but misses Montreal.

Below 0 degree temperatures are keeping us bitter cold here, so I'm not going out much, but I did just go down to DC for a visit to the parents. My grandmother lives with them and my mother now takes care of her as she can't live alone. Sadly last week she was rushed to the hospital after fainting. My mother was alone at home and could not carry her to bed herself. My Medzmom hasn't been well for years, but now she's so much worse so quickly. She barely recognizes my mother, and official doesn't remember me at all. I give credit to my mother... like many other stubborn Armenian mothers who devote themselves to caring for their parents. My mom doesn't leave her side. She cares for her, feeds her and gives her the best life possible. I remember suggesting to her that she should put her in a home so that my mother could have a life and enjoy it. Now I realize she wouldn't have enjoyed a minute knowing she put her mother in a home. Medzmom may not know what lengths my mother goes through to take care of her, but she certainly is getting the treatment she needs and deserves. Now I know that is what matters to my mom more than anything.

My parents and their siblings often talk of a powerful woman who no one questioned. She had her hand in every organization back in Iran. She ran everything in the community. It was hard to argue with her because she was so head strong, but apparently always right. I see the same thing in my mother... in my sister... and now me. Sometimes I think the gene is a curse, but usually more a blessing. It's nice to think that I picked up so much from my grandmother and her efforts to keep us Armenian and strong did not go to waste. It's more motivation to try harder. I'm positive my knitting abilities were passed on from her as she was the expert back in the days. My mom says she knit in her sleep. I'll get there I'm sure.

My other grandmother lives in Glendale with her own apartment (where she often moves her furniture by herself when she gets bored) and just visited me in Armenia because she refuses to accept there is anything in this world she isn't capable of doing. OOOOO LORD she's tough. Her tale goes back to marrying my grandfather who escaped Van during the genocide and they lived in Iraq, had three kids (including my pops) and when my grandfather passed away, she forced her way through the border back to Iran to rejoin her family. I have some tough blood running through me. Don't we all. With what our grandparents went through, if they didn't have the strength, they never would have survived.

Moral of the story: I think sometimes we forget just who our grandparents were before they became "the elderly." When I see my grandmother at home barely alive, I like to look at her with the memories of who she once was. I've learned quite a bit about myself in the process. When I look at my other grandmother, I just get tired watching her mind race... and giggle with pride that she's mine.

It’s almost 10 PM. The Genie Awards (equivalent to the Academy Awards) just finished.. I have to share the great, great and great news with you all. Ararad, which was nominated for 9 awards (I think) won best picture and Arsiné (who was hosting the Genies) won as best leading actress… she gave 1/3 of her speech in Armenian! This was way too cool! I mean not only were the actors Armenian, but the director and the movie itself, the name Ararad appearing on the big screen… in Armenian! Too cool! Millions of peole
I am so proud right now. Not only did deserving artist get acknowledged for their wonderful work, but they achieved this by telling their story, our story, the forgotten Armenian story! If anyone tells you to forget the Genocide and move on… please tell them to take a few hours out of their very busy schedule and watch this film. Then discuss how this film was successful in telling it like it is and never letting us forget!
Bravo Atom, Bravo Arsiné, Bravo Robert Lantos and all the crew for giving us this great gift.

Arriving to the Cilician lands once again ! ! !

I tryed to log from Brazil but in the town i was staying the internet was something new and expensive. (and the invation of red ants into the keyboard is not pleasent when you have to type a log). The place i visited is in the south east of Brasil, a town called BONITO, in the Matto Grosso Jungle. I dived into cleaned clear rivers, walked trough the jungle, and swam as a Dorado Fish. I passed those days among brazilians, no armenians or argentineans... Brazilians are really cool people. They are always happy, they show a joyful soul at everytime. And at everytime they are playing soccer. The armenians in Brazil are centered in the most important Industrial City of South America: Sao Paulo. (more than 20 million of citizens)
I did not have any contact with an armenian, just one armenian article in a Gossiping Magazine. I was at the hotel reading those garbage-magazines when i saw an armenian name. The article was about those famous people who try fortune-tellers to know their future. So, one of the ways of fortune-telling was represented in the article by the Sourj (Café) Reader, Archalus Hamparian, a brazilian lady of Sao Paulo. If you speak portuguese or spanish you can take a look in the page of the Armenian Community in Brazil.


When i came backi read some news about Armenia. I get surprised when i read that the Armenian Communist Party would help Kotcharian to be the president. Here the Communist Armenian Party of Argentina was against him, so i can not understand this armenian changing-postures...
I was wondering about this Irak supposed weapons and Bush´s obsessive mind when i reminded that tragedies for armenians started when around them the world was in crisis, occulting the armenian real disaster. It happened in 1915 during the First Worldwide War and it happened in 1990 in Kosovo, meanwhile the "non-popular" conflict of armenians were taking place. A future war in Irak could be a chance for azeries to re-attack Karabagh, who knows??? We do not have to forget that all this is because of the petrol. And Armenia is not a friend of the petrol path as Georgia is. Poor Turkish Shepards, they are labourous men as our grandparents were, and they would see arms, technology, thirst of destruction in the Anatolia again...(I am talking about the US Army in Erzrum City and in Dyarbekir)...

Ok, Bam Porodan!!!!!!
See you

Thank you Raffis, I was starting to feel a little lonely here by myself.

A couple things... I met with the Armenian Ambassador to the US on Sunday and dragged along the two local interns from last summer with me. He came to the Hairenik building to meet with community people and apparently wanted to meet young professionals who have spent time and worked in Armenia. I'm not sure how well I represented that crowd, or the other two, but we went in good spirit. For sake of conversation and being the "shmoozy politician" some say I can be (mostly Armenian villagers), I asked him what we can do better in serving Armenia. I explained the whole internship and how it has run in the past.

Reason I bring it up is because I think some people question how to best serve Armenia and have their own opinions. I know I've been pondering the thought for years. "What can I do best to help them?" And lately the answer has turned more toward investing. His answer was simply, "Just keep going." In so many words, he said that people think they need to make some drastic change that is going to swiftly impact the nation and suddenly make things better. It's doing what you do well that will make the difference.

I remember Aram Hajian saying the same thing when I was visiting Armenia a couple years ago. As far as I'm concerned, that's the answer I've been looking for. It may not be today or tomorrow, but when we are ready, all we need to do is do something well. Anyone who says differently is selling something. :)

So an update, I'm going to Providence tomorrow for a meeting, have two meetings on Friday, driving to NY that night for a meeting on Saturday, only to continue down to DC to see the parents for 5 days and for a couple of other meetings, and then back up to Boston to make it for another meeting the next Friday, but only to end the weekend with one more final meeting.

I have a point with all this. I know this is something that I preach all the time, but my conclusion to this mess is the following: I get NOTHING done in meetings but knitting a new scarf, so I don't understand what's with all the meetings? My latest sentiment with the community is that the vacuum effect is starting to backfire on the purpose. When once it supported and created new and inventive ideas, now drains them and holds people back. I've proven that I do more for these organizations when it's just me and my computer. I understand the purpose of meetings... but I've simply learned that I don't belong in them for any other reason than to knit... and maybe to collect some information I suppose. Well, looks like I'll get to make all my Christmas gifts early this year. SCARVES FOR EVERYONE!!!!

This log page looks like it belongs to Arsineh… it’s great that you kept going while most of us were too lazy. Thanks Arsineh! Well the Raffi-s are back, where are you Juan and Shooshig and Rosita and the others… we miss you!

Life has been very active in the past weeks. I had a chance to visit NY last weekend. I had no idea that Zabel was there. If I go again, I will make a point of calling her. I was actually there for the LCO annual meeting. It was cool meeting ‘cause the board chose the new projects for the summer. You can visit their site if you want more details: www.landandculture.org.

This weekend my family and I will take a trip to Toronto. We have some family there that have kids the age of Amassia and Varanta. They will be happy.

I saw a few films and some plays. A Turkish film called “Propaganda”, a French action movie called “Yamakasi” a Norwegian film “Festin” a German one called “Pour une poigné d’herbe”. However, I wanted to talk to you about 2 American films in particular. I think I had already mentioned one of them here. They are “Roger and me” and “Bowling for Columbine” by the great Michael Moore. I think I will buy these videos and bring them along with me to Armenia so that when Armenians tell me how heavenly America is, I can sit them down and let the documentaries tell them otherwise. I am not saying that there aren’t heavenly things in the USA or Canada or other “western” countries, but I think there are just hellish things as well. During my visits to Armenia, whenever I spoke about Canada to a local in Armenia, they first referred to it as “Ameriga” and then said that people there are all rich and live an easy life. I think they have to stop watching Dallas and 90210 or at least watch them with a critical point of view. Am I asking too much?

Moving on, The Zoryan Institute of Canada is holding for a second year, a 2-week seminar on Genocide and Human Rights during this summer in Toronto. The lecturers are great scholars like Taner Akçam, Visiting Associate Professor, Dept. of History, University of Minnesota; Frank Chalk, Dept. of History, Concordia University; Vahakn Dadrian, Director, Genocide Research, Zoryan Institute; Helen Fein, Executive Director, Institute for the Study of Genocide at John Jay College of Criminal Justice, CUNY and Research Associate, Kennedy School of Government, Harvard University; Richard G. Hovannisian, Holder of the Armenian Educational Foundation Chair in Modern Armenian History at UCLA; Jacques Kornberg, Prof. Emeritus, Dept. of History, University of Toronto; Robert Melson, Professor of Political Science, Purdue University; Roger Smith, Professor Emeritus of Government at the College of William and Mary; and Khachig Tölölyan, Prof. of English, Wesleyan University, Connecticut. Among the guest speakers will be Major Brent Beardsley, of the Canadian Forces, who was with the UN Peacekeepers in Rwanda at the time of the genocide there, and Dr. Louis M. Najarian, Clinical Associate Professor Psychiatry, New York University School of Medicine, an expert in Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. Those interested could contact them through zoryan@idirect.ca

In Montreal: Harout Pamboukjian will be in town for the Valentine’s weekend. More than 1,000 people are expected to be there! Hagop Hacikian (author of “A summer without Dawn”) wins an important prize for his great literary work. Other than that, I have been so disconnected from the Armenian community that I don’t know what else is going on.

I took my kids to an anti-war rally a week ago. I was frustrated with my friends’ and family’s apathy. They don’t seem to understand that a war on the other side of the ocean will have major effects on them as well. I mean besides hurting us economically here in the “west”, it will have devastating results on families and friends living in Lebanon, Syria, Jordan and Egypt. Most of the Iraqi refugees (and God know there will be lots) will escape to neighboring countries and will consequently effect the fragile economic and social situations of those countries as well. Extremist groups will get excited and will start counter-attacking and keeping us all in fear of walking out of our houses… I can go on, but I think you understand my concern. I mean, many of us Armenians know what kind of consequences a war can have on a society. Let’s think back to the Genocide, or recently the NKR conflict. The people there (and here) are still paying for it.

For Rosita: Ouremn ays pajinu hayerenov bidi krem. Muys log-is mech hayeren lezvi massin khosk eradz eyi, yev aracharg mu yeghadz er vor inchou hayerenov chenk portser haghrtaktsil. Ays megu arachin ports’s eh. Miyain mdahokutyuns ayn eh vor shad mu gartatsoghner bidi chi hasgnan yev “frustrated” bidi ullan. (what do you think?)

What else, oh yes! It’s great to have you back Madlene and Raffi M… And Raffi K in NY?? This is going to be interesting. Please log your thoughts Raffi.

It's been a while since I've posted and an interesting couple of months. Around this time of year, I get the itch to take a trip to Armenia. That looks like more of a reality in the month of March during my Spring Break from grad school. I still work during the day, so I'll have to take off a week or so. There are plenty of things to check out in Hayastan. First, there are my parents in Gyumri who are doing the Armenian Volunteer Corp. Secondly, it will be nice to see some friends and get a chance to meet new people. Then, of course, there is the music stuff which is getting interesting of late. Plus, how can I miss a visit to the famous Lena Majarian to see how the hell she passed out in the bathroom of a plane. Meeting Rhoda Manouk, who is volunteering with the Hover Choir project will be cool. Tamar Haytayan's update on life in Armenia will be interesting. We'll see what Gor is up to and so on.

After a good six weeks of rest away from the rigors of school, work, and music label stuff, I am ready to get back into school, work, and music label stuff. Boston is hosting a concert series of Aram Khatchaturian's works here at Jordan Hall with the first concert starting today. I may go. The CD projects are going smoothly with Bambir- Quake ready to be released in a month of so. Arsineh has been working hard on that booklet for a few weeks now. After that, we've got Gor's "Godfather Tom" or Lav Eli's debut album up on the board. So, no shortage of music in this corner. The good news here is that I've gotten permission to buy the licenses to various songs for a compilation album called "Armenia Underground" I have put togehter. Some of the performers will include Arto Tuncboyaciyan and the Armenia Navy Band, Gor Mkhitarian, Nor Dar, Bambir, The Armenian Jazz Band with Armen Martirosyan, Lilit Pipoyan, Irina Malkhasian, Lav Eli, Hover Chamber Choir of Armenia, Cascade and a few others. The goal is to put out a general "Armenia" album for the non-Armenian and Armenian market that is a decent cross section of underappreciated or unheard music that best represents Armenia in the last few years. This way, music enthusiasts can stumble across new artists all in one disc. As Arto Tuncboyaciyan has coined the term for the genre of music I am going after and presenting, it's called "Avant Garde Folk".

I am currently looking for a way to get very good contemporary Armenian films here to Boston for a small Armenian film festival. Does anyone have experience in this arena, and if so, can you privately email me? Thanks.

I am currently killing time until Raffi Meneshian and his lovely fiance join me to pick up the van that's gonna move my sorry butt one more time. MOVING DAY!! It just doesn't even phase me anymore. There used to be adrenaline that came with moving day and not so much anymore. It may have something to do with the fact that I've moved 12 TIMES IN THE LAST 2 YEARS!!!! From DC to Boston to Framingham to Armenia to Somerville to Waltham to Armenia to Beacon Hill back to Framingham, back to DC, back to Armenia... I'm beat! But if anyone out there ever feels like they have just simply accumulated too much junk and feel like they need to free themselves of useless crap, this is the perfect strategy. Move 12 times and you will feel as free as a bird. It took me 3 hours to pack my entire life up. I just don't know if that's sad and pathetic or admirable.

So the reason for the move is that I finally got my graphic design business incorporated... Reinas Design, Inc. With the crappy economy, I had no choice. It was this or cleaning tables. I'm not against cleaning tables... it's more concern for the customer... I'm the worst waitress in the world. So I went and filed for incorporation. Since, my business cards have landed in plenty of hands. I got requests for work so suddenly... all from Armenians, but work no less. It's a good feeling to be able to establish yourself and force yourself to be self-sufficient. When I signed my papers as "President","Shareholder","Director", etc. I felt like a giant. Yet, still feel like little old Arsineh... my own boss. Coming soon.... reinasdesign.com (under construction).

It's funny, one of my potential clients once asked me what exactly it was that I always wanted to do with my life... what ambitions I had a a ripe young age. I thought for a second, looked around, and said simply... "this is it." That is one of the best feelings in the world.