It's cold and grey here, and since I've been doing lots of work. Am currently meant to be writing an essay on Coca-Cola and the Global Business Revolution, and it seems to involve an inordinate amount of reading.
So instead, I decided to find somewhere on the net to host some of my photos which I took in Hayastan! This works I think:
www.boomspeed.com/rhoda/Georgia.jpg
www.boomspeed.com/rhoda/Haghpat2.jpg
www.boomspeed.com/rhoda/khatchkarcem2.jpg
The ones labelled Georgia weren't in Georgia but directly on the border with Georgia. The one of the Khatchkar was taken in the most beautiful cemetary I have ever seen, on the edge of Lake Sevan. The one of Haghpat is my favourite, supposedly you're not allowed go up in the tower, from which I took the photo, anymore. Having told the guy that I was half Armenian and had come all this way to get the view, he obliged and let me go up to the top of the small tower.

It’s me again… I know what you are thinking… this is too weird, Raffi only writes once every week or so…

This is good news. The ANCA has launched a promotion and pro-active campaign to get Atom Egoyan’s film Ararat to be distributed on a large scale. The Turkish government and its lobby groups have been pressuring and have a court case ready to go right after it’s first viewing in Cannes this May. So please support the ANCA campaign as it will prevent us from being sorry, once again!

Here’s a review about the film: C:\WINDOWS\TEMP\302109p1.htm

Then Visit the ANCA website to send a free ANCA WebFax to Miramax Co-
Chairman Harvey Weinstein. http://www.anca.org

There’s lots more I want to tell you, but I’ll leave it for another log.

Ciao

Nkarts@hotmail.com

I received an e-mail from an American Armenian friend of mine. This person had immigrated to Montreal from Lebanon and then married an American Armenian and moved to the States. Her e-mail was a forwarded message from a “Doctor” in Texas. The title of the e-mail was “unfair treatment?” It criticized the people who were condemning the inhuman treatment of the prisoners held down in Cuba. This person actually thought the US military was doing these prisoners a favor by providing them with “new clothing” and descent “meals” instead of the “filthy clothes” they wore and the “worms they ate…”

Now I don’t know the intention of my friend who sent me this message. Was a deliberate “look at how some idiots think” or was it “yeah! I think this guy has a point.” My reaction might have been a little exaggerated, but boy was I furious! I wasn’t sure if I was angry with my friend for sending this message to me, the guy who wrote this message or the collective minority of Americans who act like macho bigots. I know that there are thinkers and defenders of human rights in the U.S. I cannot generalize that all Americans are the same, because that’s just not fair. I see all the good many Americans have done and still do… but when I read this type of baloney coming from a citizen of the “free world” where information is accessible and the truth is at the edge of the fingertips, I get really MAD! I know I sound like I am being critical of the US alone, but I consider my government along with all the other allies who sit back and do little to change the situation as guilty as the first party.

OK enough of that… did you watch the Hockey game on Sunday? WE won!

To all who are impatiently waiting to hear about my progression in squash… well, I won my adversary 3 games to 2! I say I’m definitely getting better!

By the way Shooshig, this Mr. Weems is no one that we should even be bothered with. I think the best way we could get rid of him and his hate messages towards Armenia and Armenians is to simply ignore him. He will go away like the many that came before him. Just to let you know, the press agency that printed his book didn’t exist before this book and has no reputation in the field. SO: a message to all who receive these e-mails from friends about Weems, 1) delete, 2) write back to your friend to do the same. Problem solved!

PS: the baby is starting to kick! Can’t wait ‘till July!

nkarts@hotmail.com

84 Degrees ?? What's REALLYYYYYYYYYYY going on?? Someone must think "khent" Mard is already here, cause for some reason today was SCORCHING hot!!! Hmmmmm......earthquake weather? (we'll see!)

Well, despite the fact that I'm exhausted like you wouldn't believe, I decided to log - as I heard a VERY interesting speaker in one of my classes today. As I've mentioned before, this semester I'm taking a class called "The Changing Roles of Armenian Women". This week, we had a guest speaker, Hayr Vazken from Pasadena's St. Gregory Church (Echmiadzin). He came to speak about women today, especially relating to the Armenian church, since he was the Der Hayr in the Silicon Valley area when the first Armenian Deaconess in America was ordained in 1984. Yes, you heard correctly.... 1984 ..... America....... First Armenian Deaconess. Well, maybe I shouldn't have been so surprised, because if you look at the overall situation of women and how far they have come.... it's really not far at all (Women FIRSTTTTT impacted the American Vote when Reagan was in office in 1980!) Imagine! Well...getting back to the Deaconess..... Maybe I should rewind a little. Now for those of us who aren't too "churchy", the Deaconess isn't a Der Hayr or anything. Actually.....very far from one. Deacons are just normal everyday people, who go through this special training and what not....and I guess in a way become the "right hand man" of the Der Hayr. Can I say..."nurse" for a doctor? Baaaaaaaaaaaaaack in the day, there WERE Armenian Deaconesses, but they were VERY VERY rare. There's actually ONE book about them - also VERY rare. I know how rare....i TRIED finding it and it took me forever! I wrote a paper about Armenian Women in the Church, but guess what.....turns out it's on the list of TABOO subjects right next to domestic violence, drugs, STD's, infidelity, etc. So, Armenian women.... the backbone of our communities and families from the WAY beginning of our existence, are left out of the MOST important element of our Armenian beings..... Christianity. Isn't that a shame? ............ more to come on this subject........

So here's what we'll do.... we'll STATE the questions that seem to be the direct causes of our problems, and then hopefully together can come up solutions. Come on, we HAVE to give this a shot! Ok, here's a little beginning...

Problem #1: Are WE, as Armenians, superior (better) than others?
(I bet you, you just thought....NO!)
THINK AGAIN!!!!!! If you live in Los Angeles, or have visited the area, and have been to the Museum of Tolerance (the Holocaust Museum), you'd kind of understand what I'm talking about. At this museum, the tour walks to the end of a hall.... there, you are given a choice to enter through one of 2 doors. Door A - Non-Prejudice .... and Door B - Prejudice. Well, the guide gives you a minute or two...and soon you see people walking towards Door A.... DZZZZZZZZZZZ Door A doesn't exist!!!! So, Door B opens, and everyone is forced to walk through there.... meaning... EVERYONEEEEEEE has some sort of prejudice in them! Welllll, same thing with my question. You might answer my question - NO WAY, Armenians are not superior..... but the things you DO and SAY will reflect a totally opposite viewpoint. (If I lost you.... sorry....)

Anyways, without going into further detail... I have just one thing to say.... WE ARE NOT MADE OF DIFFERENT BLOOD!!!! Armenians are not from this special reserve God kept to one side, and said...."Ohhhhhh this is the BEST stuff, so Armenians are going to be made of this" ----- HELLOOOO we're not "Snapple"! You alwayssssss hear, "Payts hayeroon mech anang pan chiga" (But us, Armenians, don't have THAT problem)..... YESSSSSSSSSSSS WE DO! And the fact that we deny we have those problems, make the problems 100 times worse!

Look around you.... think about it.... you'll see it too.. I caught myself doing it quite a few times, JUST TODAY! Without realizing, without intending to......

ok, now I must attempt to make "gatnaboor".... lol wish me luck!
TSUH!
ShooshigAvakian@hotmail.com

Weather: Cloudy and Cold

Now that THAT'S out of the way, let's get to loggin'.....

Ok, one question.... WHO IS THIS SAMUEL A. WEEMS??? For those of you who haven't yet received the fwd's and fwd's.... here ya go ----->The Great Deception. The first time I read it... I really didn't know what to think. I think the ACTUAL first thought that came to my head is something I can't quite repeat in this log, but the SECOND thing was.. "why don't WE have lots of modern books that are readable and "advertised" like this?". The interesting thing is how EVERY opportunity is used for propaganda. The truth is that the public (at least here in America) isn't very informed about Hayasdan or Hye Tad for that matter. Whose fault is that? (well you can't actually blame a student for not knowing something they weren't taught, right?) Look at them.... they are already ahead. They have figured out that by being the FIRST ones to get the word out....they would've reached thousands of uninformed people and informed them however they want. 10 points for them! hmmmmmmmm

So now that we know this is going on.... What's gonna happen? Obviously boycotting, letter-writing, etc are options - but let's look FAR beyond that. Where are OUR scholars, OUR youth, OUR supporters? WHERE ARE OUR BOOKS!? Here's an excerpt to give you an idea....

----------"In this book the reader will discover that the author provides evidence, given by the Armenian historian, which proves that Armenians kept two sets of books. One to support their made up tall tale that 1.5 million of their people were massacred, and another set of books to count the same 1.5 million Armenians as refugees, so that more foreign handouts could be secured. One set of books to create pity, another to rake in the money unsuspecting Christians showered them with! The proof is that there simply cannot be 1.5 million Armenian people massacred, when the same 1.5 million Armenian people counted as refugees. One can not be dead and alive at the same time!"-------------

I could honestly sit here for hours and write about my thoughts about this, but I want everyone to first look at it and have their own impressions before reading all of mine. The Genocide is an issue that ANY and ALL Armenians deal with, even when they don't realize it. Studies have concluded that the impact of the Genocide is greatly apparent even in today's generations of Armenians. I will be more than happy to share those articles with you later on. The fact of the matter is, how could the Genocide NOT be the core of all our psyches??? We are WHERE we are, and consequently WHO we are because we weren't "there" to be someone else. I definitely would not be the same Shooshig Avakian had the Genocide never happened... A good way to understand how much it REALLY changed OUR lives too, is the following way.... I don't know who has seen the movie "Sliding Doors" with Gwyneth Paltrow, but basically the movie is 2 movies in one. It begins as ONE, then splits where she is going to get on the subway. Part A. takes off from the fact that she got on the subway, and Part B. takes off from the fact that she missed it. And the viewer sees how different her life ends up in both cases. Well....Genocide and Us. Same thing! Think of yourself as someone whose family WASN'T deported or killed, etc. and think of yourself as who you are right now. Pretty different huh?

Well, aside from all this, I'm proud to say I've officially started counting down the days to the end of May cause I'm THAT excited about going back to Hayasdan. Right now I'm trying to do some homework and catch up on the couple of days I was "out of commission" cause of illness. At the same time, I'm trying to find myself a project for this summer while I'm in Hayasdan. I thought I'd participate in the Univ. of Michigan thing that happens every summer, but it turns out that it would require me to stay with the group and go on outings with the group too....I think I'm done with groups.(especially tours of hayasdan in a group....nuh uh...no more) :)

Watch the Olympics!!! Watch the Paralympics!!! YAAAAY!!!!! (oh ya, and if there are any Armenian from Salt Lake who read this... let me know! The guyz who are coming to participate in the Special Olympics could really use some one-on-one support!) :) They're AWESOME! Read about them.... Pyunic Come on.... READ ON! Paralympics 2002

BTW - happy belated valentine's day
TSUH!

ShooshigAvakian@hotmail.com

Well, it seems that I need some basics in Math. $600 US is $960 CAN, not $360. (thanks Lena)

Some people have written and asked me about possibilities to go to Armenia. I don’t have a magic solution but I believe education, determination and opportunities are the key. Here’s a site for opportunities: http://www.armeniadiaspora.com/jobs/index.html

Good luck to all of us who want to join our friends in Armenia

Just a quik thought. How is it that about a million people will come out to cheer for a group of pro athletes (who make millions of dollars a year) that will not have a direct impact on their personal life but will refuse to participate in a peaceful demonstration to counter a G8 meeting or a summit dealing with globalisation which will directly hinder their own quality of life? Why is it that millions of people aren’t parading in the streets to tell BUSH that he should think of us and our children when he pulls out of the Kiyoto agreement?

Just a thought.

Besides that… weather is nice! ( that’s as much as you will get from me about weather)

Hatchogh
Nkarts@hotmail.com

Buenos Aires Summer 2002

Well...Here i am, again. Sorry about my absence. The cause is that i have a problem whit my sacral bones. I made a bad movement and now i can hardly walk. Meanwhile i pass my days studying my law careerand listening to the CD for armenian mangabardezes: ERGU MAYRER. It´s a new CD whit songs for children!!! Nice sound and nice songs! Step by Step the meetings to organize the 24th April of this year are starting. The crisis in Argentina is getting sharper. We don´t know what is going to happen next. Lots of shops are being closed. Maybe this year a few armenians would travel to Erevan from Argentina because the dollar turned too expensive for us now. We´ll see.
On the other hand, some kids here in Argentina are waiting for the album of Joey Ramone, the singer of The Ramones that passed away the last year. There is a Video Clip of them that is called Believe in Miracles. In that video they show many images of the passed soviet union and the Berlin Wall, etc. But when they showed the list of countries of the ex Soviet Union it appears ARMENIA. So if you are fan of the Ramones and you see that video your skin turns pusheeg pusheeg...
Well...very calm here...and very nervous at the same time Argentina...
A big hug to all diasporans and armenian engerner...
Juan

OK, I don't write seriously all the time.....my amusing memories of Hayastan also included 'numerous' nights-out until 5am and in fact, where I worked in the summer - they used to joke every morning that I had probably only just walked back home before I went off to work - Relax and (much better) Monte Cristo - the two institutions in Yerevan!!
It's raining here in England at the moment - horrible..... so maybe that means more work gets done?

Not much to report here from Boston these days. The exciting news in general here in Boston is that the Patriots won the Super Bowl and about 1 million fans lined the streets to congratulate them this past Tuesday. Pretty mindboggling. My Chicago Bears exited the playoffs a few weeks back and so I jumped on the bandwagon in my adopted city of Boston. I'm from Chicago and am a diehard Chicago sports fan still. Also, I've DJ'd a few private functions here in the last weeks as well trying out some newer songs for the crowds I have entertained. The Gor CD is going strong and we've been reviewed in the Armenian Weekly and Gor was featured in Hoki magazine. You can go to the AYF.org website to request a free copy.

I am still trying to figure out when I can take a few weeks off of grad school and job hunting to sneak in a visit to Armenia to check up on the upcoming CD releases I am producing for my label, Pomegranate Music. I can't wait to visit. I've read the logs of the past weeks with interest as topics of repatriation and Armenian identity have been touched on. It's fascinating getting points of views from different people.

It’s been awhile… I bragged so much about the good weather of Chicago, we got some serious snow and I caught cold. I catch cold often; I blame this on the fact that I had to spend my prime years in dark and cold Yerevan. My Godfather, on the other hand, thinks more practically. He said: “…well if you didn't go out 5 nights a week and stayed out till 5am, you'd not get sick as often...” Painfully, I got to admit that he is right.

I was reading through Rhoda’s and Shooshig’s logs and I realized that I am unable to think and write at such level. After 7 long and lonely years, I have become a little careless about things. Today, going through Armenian websites, logging and reading Groong news are the only Armenian things I do. However, I am very happy that there are people in the Diaspora who challenge, ponder, live and get more involved in Armenismo. Instead, I prefer drinking . Well, that’s the only thing that stops me from worrying and thinking too much about the Environment, Politics, Armenians, Immigration and Valentine’s Day.

I agree with Raffi though. Let's retire in Hayastan... Afterall, Cognac is much cheaper there.

There are some really interesting points being put forward here recently. Ones to do with bringing up your children thinking of Armenia as 'home' rather than a 'homeland' and the ones of feeling in two places, but never quite be totally a part of either.

I was brought up in quite a different way to most Armenians, being half Armenian. We did go to the Armenian school in London on Sundays for a few months when younger, but I remember it as being very strange, particularly when most people left us alone = we were the 'white' girls!!!!! After that ended I have very fond memories of Armenianess! My father cooks amazingly well - we have Dolma, Balmia, 'dad's bread' and whatever else Armenian you can think of - if fact, just thinking about it makes my mouth water - now that I don't live at home....I miss the whole process of preparation and then of course the eating of it. And then the parties/gatherings we would have (and still have), all Armenians - the kids get stuck together and then after a few more parties we begin to actually get on with each other - so much so, that if there are any parties with our Armenian friends, all the now 'grown-up' kids make an effort to turn up, even though we live absolutely ages away. Because they're such fun, we would invite others as well - I remember my school friends being astounded, by the food and the people......one thing I adore, the fact that you can never predict an Armenian! So my memories were of great fun, food and then of course the knowledge that the Armenians invented the wheel and everything else after that, and that, of course, they never agree with each other!! I feel very fortunate to have been shown both sides, but not being made to do all the 'Armenian' things or in fact the 'British' things, we always had the option to think about it.

But I did know that I hadn't realised all of my other half, and hence I decided to go to Armenia and find out some more. I found out lots, and also found that I had the ability to mix between Diasporans and locals easily, but also to see that the gap there is something amazing - it's bigger than most diasporans think. So as Shooshig realised when she went to Hayastan, she doesn't fit it there as easily or as she wanted to realise - it's hard to sort out in your mind that Hayastan is maybe not how you imagined it to be. I did meet some just brilliant people there, and I miss them all a lot. It's the temperament - completely amusing - great fun, but straightforwardness...I get e-mails saying 'When i opened my e-mail box and saw massage from you I was so happy.' That does seem quite normal, but then apart from very close friends - would people send an e-mail saying that? I would write it, then delete it thinking they may think I'm mad, but then if I send it to my Armenian friends I have no qualms about sending it. So that's the basic point, I think, they know what they're about, and they're not fooling anyone.

Back home now, at university, I regale friends about my times in Armenia - to the point that I have an insert in my yearbook calling me a nationalist, the people who have sampled my Dolma take the left-overs home with them and ask for more and tell their friends about it, and then the ones who laugh and tell me 'that's why you're so mad'!! So I'm definitely going back this summer - I promised, and maybe I'll persuade some other friends to go as well - I have a feeling they'll just love it.

BRAVO ARA!
I feel that you have put a bugging device on me. Your comments about retiring in Armenia sound just like what I was discussing with some friends a few days ago. When you said that 600$ US (that’s about 360$ CAN by the way) goes so much farther in Armenia then in the States, I felt like you were quoting parts of our conversation. For those who want to know what I am talking about read Ara Manookian’s log entry at : http://www.cilicia.com/armo_life-log.html

As for my life as a Canadian-Armenia… well it works for now. Lara (the one carrying my baby and my wife) and I have already decided on the time and place of our baby’s baptism. Of course it’ll be in Armenia… what kind of question is that? It’ll take place at the Saghmosavank monastery ( which we helped rebuild with LCO http://www.lcousa.org) in August 2003. We figure that since our kids were not born in Armenia, we can at least create a bond for them by baptizing them there. As a child, I only knew Armenia as a virtual paradise that belonged to all Armenians. I want the experience to be different for my kids. I want them to feel that Armenia is there homeland. I want them to visit and stay there as much as they want. I want them to have friends and close relatives there to visit. I want them to decide to continue their education in Armenia. I want them to become citizens and participate in the daily decision making process and not just be outsiders criticizing the government and the people. I want Armenia to become truly theirs.
I know this will take time and a lot of our energy. We have committed to go to Armenia at least every odd year. We were there in 1999, 2001 and will be there in 2003. Eventually we would like to make it our permanent home. I envy you all (Raffi, Madeleine, Zabel, Ara, and the rest) that are there living the most challenging and changing times of a society.

nkarts@hotmail.com

The Inner TWO

For a while, I've been wanting to write about this....but never really had the guts to do it. Well tonight maybe I had too much spinach or something, but here it is:

Since this is the Diaspora life page, this is something that diasporan Armenians (almost everywhere) probably deal with. Being born in California, I am technically (and actually) an American Citizen. I did watch "Sesame Street" and sang with Big Bird, I did watch Zack and his buddies on "Saved By the Bell", and I was hooked on "All My Children" for years!!! Today, I do listen to American music (among other things), and I do buy my clothes from the local mall. So as you see, I'm no different than Jane Smith who was born in California too.

But am I?

Of course I am!!! Added to the above mentioned, I did attend an Armenian school from Pre-K to 8th grade. I did sing Armenian songs, listen to Harout Pamboukjian, and I did watch Armenian Teletime every Saturday and Sunday (that's all there was then). Ya, I did my math homework, science homework, and social studies homework...but I also did my Armenian history and grammar homework too. Was I, Shooshig, the same person doing all these things? Yup! Did I do them seperately, knowing one was English and had its place, and one was Armenian with its own place? I guess.

But now the next question is... What about today?? What do the combination of those 2 seperate lives..the 2 entirely different set of influences make up? (obviously they make up who I am...) but who isssssssss that? Shooshig the Amerigatsi with the funny name? or Shooshig the Armenian who thinks like an American? I've talked about this a little before when I introduced the idea of "Nepantla" of the Aztecs..... (reminder: "nepantla" means the state of being in-between). So, does the Shooshig who is in this Nepantla have double personality issues? MAYBE! Or could it be that I am still waiting for these 2 "selves" to fuse and become ME? MAYBE! Whatever the case may be, it sure makes life a whole lot more difficult! Just imagine having 2 ENTIRELY different opinions about a particular thing.... and not knowing which one is the one you sympathize with more.... (BTW - if there are any psychologists or psychiatrists out there who think I have a serious problem... lol can ya let me know?) hehhee :)

And to everyone else out there who might in the SLIGHTEST way know what I'm talking about...just know that you are not alone. Maybe I'm the risky one who puts this stuff on an internet log that any "randomite" may read, but since it's my own experiences and feelings, well...simply.... I choose to share them regardlessm of what others may think or do. (and I wish every Armenian in the world did that, cause then maybe we'd understand each other a whole lot better and maybe for a good 3 seconds we could for a change UNITE and actually accomplish something)..... Cause look, the issue that I just talked about will be resolved when the 2 selves finally one day unite with one another....simple as that. (so i guess i'm waiting...and at the same time, expanding my knowledge and thoughts of the world around me and far abroad).

All throughout my life I was treated as an Armenian (a non-American or actually a "different" American). I was taught that Armenia was my homeland, even though I had never been there, neither had my parents for that matter. Then in 1997 I DID go there! Here is Shooshig thinking she is going "home", where she will finally fit in!!! Ummmmm...DZZZZZZZZZZ THINK AGAIN smartypants! Turns out, I didn't really fit-in there either. So wait a sec, then..... where DOOO I fit in? Not here, not there.... Ok, so this is where the cheesy quote "Home Is Where the Heart Is" comes in. I was reading a book and it just dawned on me.. YESSSSSSS home IS where the heart is! So where is YOUR heart???

I hope that's food for thought for some people.... now I'm exhausted.... haha :)
TSUH!

ShooshigAvakian@hotmail.com

Today, as I made my way down the 5 South, I was wondering how much time I actually spend on the road or in my car.....Let's do some math here...(bear with me) I go to school (25 miles) 5 times a week. Going to work from school is about 15 miles - and that's at least 3 times a week. Well, I'll save you the other details, but the grand total came out to something around 500 miles a week - ya, 7 days! Forget the miles and the gas... what about the amount of time I spend in the car, where actually, the only thing I can do is DRIVE (we all know I try to do other things too.....but it never works---And I REFUSE to become part of the statistic of women putting on make up while driving..... not happenin!!) So, I guess my point is.... WHAT A WASTE OF TIME!!!!!! Now you're thinking..... ok Shoosh....who cares!!! Well, ..... I hope you read Ara's latest log (the infommercial) about how he WALKS to where he's going and declines rides... I am waiting for that day!! THAT alone is reason enough for me to live somewhere like Mardooni...... trust me ... YOU try driving on the 405 or the 101 around 7am, 9am, 3pm...heck at ANY time!

So that was my venting session about having driven so much today. I'm also kind of worried, because I am not done with my Chicano Studies book ("Pocho") that I am supposed to have read by tomorrow 11am. It's ok.... I'll figure something out. Well, you stop and think... "Shooshig, you've had the book for a week almost...why didn't you finish?" .... My answer.... "No time -I was running around being Armenian! ". Funny you should mention time, because just today in my Earth Science class we learned about time and the months, and the year, and the earth, and the sun....and well you know that whole big mambo-jumbo. So it's thanks to those great scientists that we think of our day as 24 hrs. What I wanna know is....why would anyone think of classifying time? If it's not done today - it'll get done tomorrow...knowing what time it is doesn't change the fact that it's not done or can't be done..... WHO CARES what time it is... just go on. See, then there wouldn't be deadlines, or anything to worry about. Time would just seem endless....or would it? (And no, I didn't take my philosophy pill today, I'm just very tired) lol

Alright, so before I start questioning some other things I shouldn't touch at this late hour, I will head off to bed. Sorry if this log wasn't interesting, think of it as a Memo and not a log.... Short but sweet..... actually just a note to say, "I'm alive and well". :) TSUH!
p.s. - I almost forgot the weather..... It's wayyyyyy up in the 70's again! What's going on? Some people call it "earthquake weather", others don't call it anything.. hahhaa :) I have a diary entry from like 1986 that says we were swimming in Jan. and Feb.!!!! Global Warming.... it's happening!!!!!!

ShooshigAvakian@hotmail.com