There are some really interesting points being put forward here recently. Ones to do with bringing up your children thinking of Armenia as 'home' rather than a 'homeland' and the ones of feeling in two places, but never quite be totally a part of either.

I was brought up in quite a different way to most Armenians, being half Armenian. We did go to the Armenian school in London on Sundays for a few months when younger, but I remember it as being very strange, particularly when most people left us alone = we were the 'white' girls!!!!! After that ended I have very fond memories of Armenianess! My father cooks amazingly well - we have Dolma, Balmia, 'dad's bread' and whatever else Armenian you can think of - if fact, just thinking about it makes my mouth water - now that I don't live at home....I miss the whole process of preparation and then of course the eating of it. And then the parties/gatherings we would have (and still have), all Armenians - the kids get stuck together and then after a few more parties we begin to actually get on with each other - so much so, that if there are any parties with our Armenian friends, all the now 'grown-up' kids make an effort to turn up, even though we live absolutely ages away. Because they're such fun, we would invite others as well - I remember my school friends being astounded, by the food and the people......one thing I adore, the fact that you can never predict an Armenian! So my memories were of great fun, food and then of course the knowledge that the Armenians invented the wheel and everything else after that, and that, of course, they never agree with each other!! I feel very fortunate to have been shown both sides, but not being made to do all the 'Armenian' things or in fact the 'British' things, we always had the option to think about it.

But I did know that I hadn't realised all of my other half, and hence I decided to go to Armenia and find out some more. I found out lots, and also found that I had the ability to mix between Diasporans and locals easily, but also to see that the gap there is something amazing - it's bigger than most diasporans think. So as Shooshig realised when she went to Hayastan, she doesn't fit it there as easily or as she wanted to realise - it's hard to sort out in your mind that Hayastan is maybe not how you imagined it to be. I did meet some just brilliant people there, and I miss them all a lot. It's the temperament - completely amusing - great fun, but straightforwardness...I get e-mails saying 'When i opened my e-mail box and saw massage from you I was so happy.' That does seem quite normal, but then apart from very close friends - would people send an e-mail saying that? I would write it, then delete it thinking they may think I'm mad, but then if I send it to my Armenian friends I have no qualms about sending it. So that's the basic point, I think, they know what they're about, and they're not fooling anyone.

Back home now, at university, I regale friends about my times in Armenia - to the point that I have an insert in my yearbook calling me a nationalist, the people who have sampled my Dolma take the left-overs home with them and ask for more and tell their friends about it, and then the ones who laugh and tell me 'that's why you're so mad'!! So I'm definitely going back this summer - I promised, and maybe I'll persuade some other friends to go as well - I have a feeling they'll just love it.