Exhaustion is circulating thru my veins like lava.
Today was my father's funeral in Montreal.
Yesterday I went to Sourp Sarkis to meditate and communicate with Him.
I hoped that my grandma would be There when he first enters the other world.
Prayed that he'd join the Light and become a particle of it. "Hayrig Asdvadz Hokit Lusavore."
The choir was singing a hymn about Resurrection; I felt comforted and left the church.
My mind has accepted the loss, but the pain is still there.
My dad, Sarkis, was a decent and logical man, good father and a great Hi.
Cancer is a dilapidating disease. Last year of his life, illness and medication played succor with him. He suffered, became physically dependent, at times illusional and illogical. And I have problems with it.
I mean God, Are You God of Gilgamesh, God of Israel, God of Moslems or God of Christians?
Megha, megha, megha. Forgive me God cause I have sinned. I am in pain and taking it on You.
I am home but my family is continents away. At times like this families need to be together. My father did not want to get buried in that Cold Country. Help us God, help us to be strong, help us build a stronger Home, guide your sons back Home and we promise to build the biggest church on Mount Ararad for your Glory, Eternity and Truth.
Amen.